Walking home, started thinking about what people would be like if I was gone. Started thinking about my own funeral. What I want and shit.
First of all, I want people to fucking weep. Hate these peeps who say shit like "I want people to be happy and laugh at my funeral". Fuck that. I want everyone there, even people I didn't like, and I want them all to be sobbing because they'd miss you. Not saying it in a mean spirited way, but if I'm not going to be providing my homies with serious lulz anymore, I would think they'd be sad about that.
Want some skinny little number at the front crying over how much she'll miss my peen.
Want a gold coffin. Need the excess, want people to know I was a big shot. Want there to be a BBC4 documentary about me. Settle for More4. Guess my appeal could be more mainstream.
Auction off all my shit and give it to my charity. Might pick the Donkey Sanctuary to fuck people up. Need one last bit of generosity before I hit the pearly gates, want to know I'll be smacking that up with my bros in heaven.
Choosing funeral song is difficult. Could be obvious and pick a Cure song, or maybe 'I Gotta Feeling' by Black Eyed Peas. Maybe something from high school musical.
Probably pick a Radiohead song. Want people to know I was intelligent and alternative.
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